You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
