There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
