Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
thus making me awesome and them whores
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
