she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
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Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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