Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
