I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
