After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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