eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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