weddingsv make me drug and hornr
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ketchup is God's man juice
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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