I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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