well I can't set my house on fire every night
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
