From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
