do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
