Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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