You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
