Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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