i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
