he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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