saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
