he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
