life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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