I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Drunk is not a location!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
