Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
