One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize