We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
