hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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