Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
