You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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