Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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