Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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