What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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