even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
