Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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