Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
