I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
