What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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