Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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