he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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