she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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