So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
