oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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