She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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