So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
