Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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