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  • 78 61
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:19pm

    "I'm a rapist" about sums it up.

  • 74 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:11pm

    i wasn't going to sleep with you until i realized the roofie worked.

  • 69 62
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 2:08pm

    Here ya' go---"I'm an ass and can't get a real live girl unless she's sloppy drunk and doesn't notice my serial-rapists tendencies until it is way too late. Like now."

  • 64 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:31pm

    The OP just had to jump a couple "leagues" thanks to beer-goggles is all . . . and loss of the ability to meaningfully consent.

  • 60 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:10pm

    So, you weren't going to sleep with a girl until she was incapacitated? What does that say about you, OP?

  • 49 42
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 5, 09 at 1:38pm

    actually i think hallmark makes a card for that...

  • 53 54
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:56pm

    tell her whatever way you feel is best, and don't be surprised if she chops it off.

  • 56 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:03pm

    second, and yes... it's "get out of my bed"

  • 53 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 10:58pm

    Ya baby!!!! Only in Jackson Mississippi!!!!!!

  • 61 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:10pm

    Anal is a pretty universal answer on the spectrum for this one.

  • 55 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 4, 09 at 2:26am

    yah "I'm a horrible person and should be castrated".

  • 47 57
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:22pm

    1:21.... Hahahahahahahahhahha! Love SNL!!!! Good one!

  • 47 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:49pm

    1:19, drunk guys = partially soft erections. No girl wants that. By deductive reasoning the OP is probably male.

  • 50 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 3:44pm

    you say that you were drunk too and you normally wouldnt sleep with them.

  • 48 71
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 09 at 1:19pm

    1:10. Who says a guy wrote this?

  • 44 67
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 3, 09 at 1:08am

    Is there an easy way to say that you've had more dick in you than Trojan? Hotdog down a hallway, sweetheart.

  • 41 69
    Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 4, 09 at 3:31am

    This is hilarious. Because a girl said it.