i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
