imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
