omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
