is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
