his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
