my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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