Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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