so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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