I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
