Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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