she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
