So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
