Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
