fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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