my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
