its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
