can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i barfeds in our rink
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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