Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
