Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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