last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
