I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
