I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
