I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
