She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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