dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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