I am in a vortex of obligation.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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