dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize