Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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