So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
